War On Terror Takes To The Trees

If you have any trees on your property, the Bureau of Homeland Security wants to talk to you. Trees could be useful to terrorists, who might use trees as a place of concealment. The agency has made the tree issue a priority, and will spend millions of dollars this fiscal year investigating trees all over the US.
Part of the plan calls for eliminating unnecessary trees, and transplanting useful trees into special quarantine areas.  Officials speculate that as many as 60% of US trees must be relocated or destroyed in order to comply with provisions of the newly expanded Patriot  Act.
Trees less than 2 feet tall and those which produce no limbs or foliage are exempt from the program, as are rocks and boulders.